


safe

by Augustus



Category: Backstreet Boys, Popslash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-15
Updated: 2002-07-15
Packaged: 2018-03-09 13:59:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3252401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Augustus/pseuds/Augustus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Howie falls asleep. Howie POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	safe

When I was very small, my mother used to stroke my hair as I fell asleep. With her weight shaping the mattress beside me and pulling the bedclothes tight against my chest, I felt unreservedly safe. Sometimes she would draw intricate patterns of swirls and rivers on my forehead, her fingertips light against my skin. On clearer nights, moonlight shone through the thin fabric of my bedroom curtains and dappled her skin with exotic markings. When I peeked at her from beneath my eyelashes, she always seemed to know, telling me to close my eyes with a smile within her words. I knew that there would be no nightmares for as long as she was there to protect me from the imagined demons that lay within the shadows surrounding my bed. As sleep began to claim me, she would gently kiss the crown of my head and whisper a goodnight.

Beside me, Nick mutters something incomprehensible in his sleep, his face almost invisible in the thick darkness of our hotel room. His legs are twisted in the sheets, one foot escaping entirely, a slightly darker silhouette against the blurred white of the fabric. His arm is curved around the side of his pillow, disappearing beneath his turned head. In my mind, I can picture the smooth lines of his cheeks and the delicate shadow of resting lashes. The inches between us seem to multiply and I want nothing more than to reach out to touch his shoulder, to reassure myself that he is really there. Unwilling to risk waking him, I force myself to roll over onto my back, trying to be content with the reassuring sound of his breathing as I let out my own breath in an exhausted sigh. 

"What's wrong?" His voice is clumsy with sleep, the words slurred and malformed. "Can't you sleep?"

"No." I shrugged into my pillow. "I can't stop thinking about AJ. But I'm okay. Go back to sleep."

"Why didn't you wake me, dumbass?" Thick arms pull me to his side, folding me into the warmth of his body. "What were you going to do? Stare at the ceiling all night?"

I can't help but smile at his eloquence. "Perhaps."

"Idiot." He presses my head to his chest, smoothing the bedclothes over me. I can hear his heart beating beneath my ear as I curl my fingers around his shoulder, tracing the curves of the bone. "You would have died of boredom."

Our legs intertwine in a well-practiced manoeuvre and I press a brief kiss to the hollow of his neck. "Probably," I laugh, then settle into his embrace, closing my eyes as Nick folds his arms around me, one hand gently brushing the hair away from my face.

"Go to sleep," he whispers, tone heavy with weariness. His fingers drift aimlessly over my cheek, rising to rest lightly against my temple, occasionally renewing their movement for a few drowsy seconds. The touch is hypnotising, reassuring. I can feel every place where our bodies touch, the warmth of his skin soothing my fears and stilling the overwhelming tide of my thoughts.

Nick stretches to kiss the crown of my head before falling back against his pillow, the lazy pattern of his breathing already beginning to lengthen and slow once more. I grasp his shoulder a little more tightly and wait for the rise and fall of his chest to lull me into guarded sleep.

**15th July 2002**


End file.
